2009 -> 2010 -> When the time comes

I wouldn’t say i really enjoyed my 2009, i wouldn’t say 2009 has been the best year ever in my life, i wouldn’t say my 2009 has been totally like how i expected it to be, but 2009 will be one of the most unforgettable years in my life.

I walked, i ran, i stopped, i turned back, i fell, i stood up, again and again, i have been taught that, my destination can only be found in His one way direction.

I can get so frustrated with my own weaknesses at times, i can be so disappointed with my stubbornness sometimes, i can just dislike myself sometimes, just because things didn’t go well from my hands.  But then, again and again your gentleness just comforts me and touches my heart, and it makes me realise that it’s not my life, it’s the life of You through me.

I can still remember all the trails, challenges and tough times, i can still remember every single time when i came to You and prayed and prayed and prayed for Strength. But, You make me realise that, even if i fell, i would have had the strength to stand up, because You’ve kept strengthening me along the journey.

You told me that, when the time comes, that’s the whole thing, as You are preparing me for Your mission on a specific time. God, this is such a heavy message, as i know it won’t be easy, but i feel encouraged, i really do, i also feel touched, because You told me it’s gonna be difficult, yet You still choose me, i feel touched because You trust me even when i don’t trust myself.

If You call me, You will make me READY!

I pray that no matter where i go, i’ll go with raising up my hands to worship You, no matter where i go, no matter what i do, let it be my worship onto You.

Please fill my heart with what You want, so what i want will also be what You want.

Let 2010 be a year of my stepping closer to Your calling.

前进三步，后退两步

To Nilla:

有时候，当你朝着一个目标努力向前的时候，你会忘记自己有多累，你什么也不知道，你只知道你要朝着那个目标走。

并不是因为你有多坚强，有多勇敢，只是因为，你决定了。

有些事情，你不能够用好与坏去形容，因为那本来就不是好与坏的问题。

曾经有人说过：所谓生活，就是前进三步，后退两步。也许你是因为受到挫折而后退，也许你是因为错过了某些东西而后退。

可是我相信，就算是这样，只要你不放弃，你还是一直在前进着。

生活里面，充满选择，你一直都在取舍，每当你选择了一样东西，同时你也要舍弃另一样东西。

可是你知道吗？有些时候你并不需要取舍，因为那本来就不是一个选择，只是一个决定。

这样，你就不会后悔。

‘I can do everything through Him who gives me strength’ – Phi 4: 13

Nilla

04/10/09

7469 kilometers, 1 phone call/sms away

The total distance from China to Australia is 4,641 miles. This is equivalent to 7,469 kilometers. (Got this from Google)

I admit that at times i do miss home, i miss that kind of feeling and love that only my family can provide.

I miss you, my forever-understanding dad, you don’t speak that much, you are a shy person and you don’t usually express yourself that much, but you took initiative to pray for me the other day, that’s the very first time that i heard you praying for me, i really felt touched.

I miss you, my forever-supporting mum, your constant encouragement and support is one of the main reasons why i have strength in what i am doing. Your “Continue to have faith and trust in Him” & “Daddy and i miss you so much” sms really has the magic power to lighten up my day.

I miss you, my forever-loving sister. To me you are never a little girl, coz you understand me all the time, you care for me, you love me so much to the point that you’re always willing to give me the better, i feel so blessed not only because i have the best set of parents, but also because of the best younger sister.

There is a kind of love that only you all can provide, it’s out of word to describe, but i feel it deeply in my heart:)

I LOVE you all, you all are very very precious to me:)

If this is the season that God wants me to understand His love to me more through my family, i believe i’ve got it:)

Me

hehe…just got this from Liven, nice isn’t it? this is me, wearing a cross necklace and holding a bible in hand, well i do wish that one day i am able to preach the word of God to the point that people’s lives are being transformed. I see a need of growing much deeper in the word of God at this stage. Time to do more.

Thank you Liven, i can really see the significant growth in you since you accepted Christ, keep it up! And i believe that God is already using you, and is gonna use you so much more greatly to impact many people’s lives along the journey.

Collection

Since young, i like collecting cards and letters from people, i’ve got a big box back home, with all those cards, letters, even those small pieces of paper with written conversations with my deskmates back in high school and even primary school (that’s how we had fun during classes :-p).

Don’t know why when words come to me with a written form they will just become so precious to me, and i will keep all of them even if it is just a small piece of paper.

Last Sunday was the shepherd appreciation day, so touched to see people doing different things to appreciate their shepherds and leaders, so touched by my sheep sheeps and LG people too! Due to this i got some “new collections”, as usual i put them in one place, which is a paper bag.

Today i took out this paper bag, it’s filled with nearly every single written word from people since i came to Brisbane, i spent some time reading back some cards and letters, recalling how i have been growing with all these brothers and sisters and friends, really felt so blessed to be in this family of God.

cards

bookmarks & little cards

letters & different scraps

Really appreciate every single one of you who has once written some words to encourage me.

p.s. While rearranging those cards and letters, I found 2 letters from my Korean friends which i received 3 years ago in Malaysia, i brought them with me when i came to Brisbane, really miss those 2 girls – Sung Hee and Junk Ki, 2 of my best friends back in Malaysia.

（3 years back, in Malaysia, how time flies!)

p.s. again: Korean people are very nice! Like my shepherd Christine