My life, My Beautiful Starry Starry Night

Just find that my little blog has been forsaken for nearly a month (Sorry my blog!) I still remember how enthusiastic I was when I just created this blog (updated it even if I was busy) But day by day, I seem to be slack in updating it, sometimes even forgot its existence (Sorry again my blog!)

Is this human being? Always being enthusiastic when something is fresh for them, then getting tired of it, then may be forgetting about it…then one day they may become realising the value of its existence when they lose it?

When I look back, I find that I once lost some important things in my life, which I will never get back. It’s inevitably feeling bitter to recall some memory, and somehow getting regretfully for it. I’ve experienced a lot during these few years,  some is sweet, some is bitter, some is encouraging and some is depressing. Some is unforgettable, which seems to be engraved in my heart, some is too little that even if I try my best to recall, I can’t remember it.

8 months ago, I was hurt by something done by someone, at that point of time, everything just seemed to be hopeless to me, and I was crying and crying, didn’t even think that I could get recovered from it.

8 months later, when I recall it, I just smile, and say to myself “what a childish girl!”

Yea…nothing can’t be healed by God’s mercy and love. Today when I see all the beautiful things (my sweet family, kindly brothers and sisters,  lovely friends,  natural beauty…) around me, I get to understand how ‘more than enough’ is.

Dear Lord, you healed my broken heart and bound up my wound, by blessing me with all of these, what could be better other than this? Just wanna say THANK YOU to you! So many things have been changed over the past few years, the only one thing that still stays the same is God’s love to me, it’s unconditional even when I failed him.

Today, I choose to face my past smilingly, at least I can tell how much I’ve grown.

There must be a reson behind everything’s happening, we may not understand, but God has his own purpose on it. I believe that everything that happens to me, is not a coincidence, it’s planned to happen.

Every person that I get to know, is a unique star, composing a beautiful ’starry starry night’ in my life.

I’ll keep walking, during some points of  this journey, there may be difficulties, temptations or frustrations, but I won’t give up any of the things that I ought to pursue, since there’s nothing can separate me from the truth.

Am I disappointing?

I quitted my job today. Due to several reasons:

1. I am required to work at minimal 3 days (27 hours) per week, which doesn’t meet the work limitation of my visa.
2. There’s no basic salary, pay is based on commission, which doesn’t match with what they told me in the interview (They said that I could choose either basic salary or on commission).
3. I don’t have my own transportation, which doesn’t facilitate my work (the salespeople have to carry a luggage of products all the way to the petrol station which is very far away from the city).
4. They did promise that there would be transportation arranged for me, but they failed to do so.

I am a little frustrated. Is it how the working world is like? Somehow I feel like being cheated like a fool…Somehow I feel that the company disappoints me…but am I disappointing God concurrently? and also my brothers and sisters who encouraged and supported me all the way? Somehow I feel guilty, because I said that I dared to challenge myself, but…

My dear heavenly father, can I tell you the truth? Sometimes I don’t really understand your purpose behind every single situation that I am facing; sometimes I have doubts; sometimes I am frustrated and tired, and even wanna stop and take a break. But if you ask me whether or not I am willing to go far away from you? Seriously I’ll say no, I don’t dare, coz I can do nothing without you. No matter how, I’ll choose to follow you even though sometimes I may not understand fully, and I believe that you will walk me through at the end.

I just want to be more like you

Walk with you beside me

Lord, won’t you be my guide

Place your heart inside my soul

A heart that’s ever true

One that’s after you

I keep listening to this song at this moment, yea..our relationship with God, concerns him more than what we claim we can do for him; he wants us to choose him, not what he can give to us, or do for us. So…just to follow and obey him, and this is the only thing that I can do…

Lord, please forgive such an immature Nilla…and change her into the one that is more like you! Amen!

My First Ever Job Job

I should have so much to write today, but since I am nearly exhausted and starving at this moment,  I would like to make a long story short:

1. I applied for several different kinds of part-time jobs  a couple of days ago.
2. I got a call which asked me to attend an interview on Tuesday, which I thought was the cafe staff, so I prepared all the related questions and answers.
3. But!!!I was mistaken, it was not a cafe, it was a marketing company which is selling car wax…I was like (nah…this is Nilla, must not let my boss know!)
4. But!!!Thanks God I passed the interview.
5. Basically the salespeople in this company go to different  petrol stations every day and sell their product to the customers there, of course they also need to give a demonstration on how to use the wax to clean their cars.
6. Today I followed 2 salespeople to a petrol station and observed how they worked, and I needed to approach customers after the observation.
7. Everything seemed to be smooth, and they were happy to see what I did, and reported my performance to the boss, and she was happy to hire me from next week.
8. But honestly speaking, I don’t really like this job, it just doesn’t seem to suit me.
9. I used to be passive to talk to people; I used to be poor in dealing properly with strangers; I used to think that my job should be an indoor one…I never worked before, I don’t want my first job to be so tough…I used to…
10. But when I was on the way home this afternoon, I looked above the sky through the bus window, I felt that God was smiling and asking “Do you dare to challenge yourself?”

“Yes I do!”

God, I know you understand my purpose to find a part-time job, and whom I am doing this for.

I pray that this will bring me a breakthrough in my life. Take a deep breath and be brave! Go Nilla!!!You can!!!

(Oops…It’s not that short actually…don’t dare to imagine how long it’ll be if I wrote in passages instead of points…)