Just wanna make myself more sleepy

This is my sleepless night, I don’t even remember how many times I’ve turned over in my bed, there’s no nightmare, but just don’t know why I can’t fall into sleep.

So just get up and do something that can hopefully make myself more sleepy, finally I do the ‘celebrity look-alikes’, which for me is usually quite a unattractive entertainment.

To be honest, I don’t think it’s accurate, just don’t thik I look like any of them.

Anyway, hope it’ll somehow make me more sleepy. OK! continute to sleep!

Just wanna leave some words for myself before going to bed again:  

In ISAIAH 41 verse 10 of the Bible it says”So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” 

In PSALM 27 verse 14 of the Bible it says”Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD”

LORD, I know You understand me and know all the situations, I just wanna commit everything into your hands, I believe that You will strengthen me and support me all the way! Amen!

Am I disappointing?

I quitted my job today. Due to several reasons:

1. I am required to work at minimal 3 days (27 hours) per week, which doesn’t meet the work limitation of my visa.
2. There’s no basic salary, pay is based on commission, which doesn’t match with what they told me in the interview (They said that I could choose either basic salary or on commission).
3. I don’t have my own transportation, which doesn’t facilitate my work (the salespeople have to carry a luggage of products all the way to the petrol station which is very far away from the city).
4. They did promise that there would be transportation arranged for me, but they failed to do so.

I am a little frustrated. Is it how the working world is like? Somehow I feel like being cheated like a fool…Somehow I feel that the company disappoints me…but am I disappointing God concurrently? and also my brothers and sisters who encouraged and supported me all the way? Somehow I feel guilty, because I said that I dared to challenge myself, but…

My dear heavenly father, can I tell you the truth? Sometimes I don’t really understand your purpose behind every single situation that I am facing; sometimes I have doubts; sometimes I am frustrated and tired, and even wanna stop and take a break. But if you ask me whether or not I am willing to go far away from you? Seriously I’ll say no, I don’t dare, coz I can do nothing without you. No matter how, I’ll choose to follow you even though sometimes I may not understand fully, and I believe that you will walk me through at the end.

I just want to be more like you

Walk with you beside me

Lord, won’t you be my guide

Place your heart inside my soul

A heart that’s ever true

One that’s after you

I keep listening to this song at this moment, yea..our relationship with God, concerns him more than what we claim we can do for him; he wants us to choose him, not what he can give to us, or do for us. So…just to follow and obey him, and this is the only thing that I can do…

Lord, please forgive such an immature Nilla…and change her into the one that is more like you! Amen!

My First Ever Job Job

I should have so much to write today, but since I am nearly exhausted and starving at this moment,  I would like to make a long story short:

1. I applied for several different kinds of part-time jobs  a couple of days ago.
2. I got a call which asked me to attend an interview on Tuesday, which I thought was the cafe staff, so I prepared all the related questions and answers.
3. But!!!I was mistaken, it was not a cafe, it was a marketing company which is selling car wax…I was like (nah…this is Nilla, must not let my boss know!)
4. But!!!Thanks God I passed the interview.
5. Basically the salespeople in this company go to different  petrol stations every day and sell their product to the customers there, of course they also need to give a demonstration on how to use the wax to clean their cars.
6. Today I followed 2 salespeople to a petrol station and observed how they worked, and I needed to approach customers after the observation.
7. Everything seemed to be smooth, and they were happy to see what I did, and reported my performance to the boss, and she was happy to hire me from next week.
8. But honestly speaking, I don’t really like this job, it just doesn’t seem to suit me.
9. I used to be passive to talk to people; I used to be poor in dealing properly with strangers; I used to think that my job should be an indoor one…I never worked before, I don’t want my first job to be so tough…I used to…
10. But when I was on the way home this afternoon, I looked above the sky through the bus window, I felt that God was smiling and asking “Do you dare to challenge yourself?”

“Yes I do!”

God, I know you understand my purpose to find a part-time job, and whom I am doing this for.

I pray that this will bring me a breakthrough in my life. Take a deep breath and be brave! Go Nilla!!!You can!!!

(Oops…It’s not that short actually…don’t dare to imagine how long it’ll be if I wrote in passages instead of points…)